This morning didn't go as planned, at all. This morning Christopher and I set out to complete 2k. His school shoes were knotted up, and he was just PULLING on them to get them apart. "Christopher, you're only making it worse. Pulling on them with all your might is making the knot tighter. Slow down and just work on the knot". He managed to get it, but the laces were pretty hooped. We fished out some better shoes, but they weren't any better as it turns out. We got about half way around the track before he had to stop, he thought he was getting a blister. We finished our lap, and sure enough he had a decent little blister.
Well that was the end of that, off with the devil shoes and off with the socks. I gave Christopher a piggyback through the terrible parking lot, and then we began our trek home. With the walk there and the one lap we did about 2k, so we still accomplished that!
I, however, have been in my head a bit over the last few days, so I was really looking forward to burning off some anxious energy. With the run Christopher and I planned cut short, I had a case of... blue.... feet? Whatever the term may be, I NEEDED to get rid of this anxiety. The best way I could think was to just run. Time was now short. I had to run a good 5k if I wanted to get to work on time. There was a little nagging voice though. My first actual 5k run is in two days, did I really want to push it? Ya, I needed to burn some of this off. Now there's some more anxiety added to my plate. Run a good 5k or you're going to be late! I quickly changed my shoes and off I went.
My head was spinning. With work stuff, time constraints, am I focusing on my breathing? Does this even feel right? Is my foot starting to hurt again? Do I risk it? If I can't do it now, how will I do it in two days?
Hit 2k, making good time! There's that foot pain... Crap, I'm not breathing right, and now I'm slowing down. Never going to do 5k in time now. Pick it up, push through!
Running again, head still spinning. Can't seem to get my rhythm, and I'm slowing down again. I'm not going to make it, and that doesn't feel good. Time to turn right and head home, run aborted. DNF. That's the tone we're going to start the day off. Cool.
I felt out of sorts, today was just not shaping up the way I had planned. Everything was going wrong! I couldn't seem to find my rhythm with the day. Thank God I have an amazing wife. I let her know I was struggling today, and she ramped up her encouragement game. With Tiff's help, I managed to turn the day around. Work was good and I managed to scratch some things off the to do list. Which helped improve my mood too.
I reflected on my day, and the rough start, while barbecuing and sipping on a beer. It was getting really hard to feel sorry for myself. I've got problems, and stressors and things that give me anxiety. Just like everyone else trying to make it through this crazy world. In the grand scheme of things, my issues become pretty inconsequential. They can be the anchor they're trying to be, or I can take my own advice. Stop pulling at the knot, and look at it. Pick it apart and be done with it.
So I've got about 36 hours to self reflect and find center. Sitting here in a cozy chair, overlooking my pool, it's hard to remember why my problems were so big this morning. Whatever the reason, I've got a day and a half to pick at this knot, find center, and then run for the fun of it.
Today is a great day!
Comments
Post a Comment